I'm in a state of happiness..
yet in a world of depression..

It seems as though each rising moment for me
has it's coinciding downfall...
I need a hug.. anyone want to give me one?
I feel so down right now...
don't know if I am who I am...

Everyone sees me as I am..
except those I really want to see me as who I am...
The two people who brought me into this world...
they don't know me...
the more i think about this fact..
the more my world darkens with regret and sadness..

I just wish they could see me and know me..
as the person that I have grown up to be...
I know they weren't there to see me bloom..
but I can't blame them
they have their lives too
I just hope that they could dig deeper
deeper than what they see with their eyes
not just a schoolboy...
not just as a son..
not just as an athlete..
not just as a poet..
not just as everything they believe i am..

I wish... they could explore further..
and see me... as I really am...

dear mom and dad...
when will you ever take the time to get to know me..
i told you of my long time friends...
you didnt even know who they were...
I told you of my recent accomplishments..
you didnt even know that they happened...
you told me of all the wrongs i've been doing
you told me of all the bad things that i do
you told me of all the negative aspects of who i am...

i knew about all of them...
and the more you brought it up...
the more you talked about it..
the more I hurt so much deep down inside...

I wish for so many things...
the material ones, you get to give to me..
i'm more than thankful for that..
but I wish that you could just stop the world,
and try to get to know me..
take the risk of getting hurt..
getting hurt with the fact that your son,
isn't after all who you thought he was...
take the risk...
and just get to know me...
not the man that you know you see..
but the son... that i've grown to be...